Proust Questionnaire
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I have a small apartment in Amsterdam filled with books, and a cat is on my lap. I have a 5* Uber rating.
2. What is your greatest fear?
If it turns out that the mythical 16th-century sea-bishop fish is, in fact, real.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Overthinking.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cruelty and the inability to empathise. People who are judgemental about the enjoyment of reality TV.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
Anyone who makes the shift from ‘dreamer’ to ‘doer’.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Wheels of Camembert and bunches of peonies.
7. What is your current state of mind?
Hopeful and happy.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Superficial glamour.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
At the doctor's office.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Who cares!
11. Which living person do you most despise?
Slow walkers.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Kindness, empathy, curiosity, and good listening skills.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Kindness, empathy, curiosity, good listening skills.
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Okey dokey" - urgh.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Hugo, Dan and Gershwin.
16. When and where were you happiest?
25th June or 21st April.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to speak any language at the drop of a hat.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Get better at languages.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
TBD.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A well-loved pub dog.
21. Where would you most like to live?
One of those dead posh townhouses.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
I would love to say something deep and meaningful here, but it's probably my phone.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Unrequited love and listlessness.
24. What is your favourite occupation?
A writer, artist, or scientist.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
My observation skills and creativity.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Their bottomless appreciation for talking nonsense.
27. Who are your favourite writers?
Kurt Vonnegut, David Sedaris and, of course, Sylvia Plath.
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Not necessarily a hero, but I always smile at the delicious irony that in 455 BC. Aeschylus was killed by a tortoise dropped by an eagle, which had mistaken his head for a rock suitable for shattering the shell. He had been staying outdoors to avoid a prophecy that he would be killed by a falling object. It’s a story that’s likely utter balderdash due to a misunderstanding of the iconography on Aeschylus' tomb.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
When Samuel Pepys buried his cheese and wine to save them from the Great Fire of London.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Mary Anning, David Sedaris, Klaus Nomi.
31. What are your favourite names?
Hugo and Freya.
32. What is it that you most dislike?
Racism and sexism.
33. What is your greatest regret?
Never getting around to finishing my book.
34. How would you like to die?
Gently suffocated by a pack of Exotic Shorthair cats.
35. What is your motto?
“Mrs Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself.”